Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
