normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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