I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
