you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
