I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
