For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
