He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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