Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
