nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
