I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
