I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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