You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
