My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
