U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
