Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
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from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
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He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.