k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
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I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
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I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.