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• (941): View more from Florida

  Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes

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• (408): View more from California

  I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park

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• (954): View more from Florida

  hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.

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• (909): View more from California

  i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life

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• (954): View more from Florida

  The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup

  (868): View more from Trinidad and Tobago-Carib

  So no more sangria road trips?

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Is this a considering it or regretting it text?

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.

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• (516): View more from New York

  Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.

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