Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I think im pregnant

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I think you have the wrong number

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  (843): I think im pregnant (803): I think you have the wrong number http://tfl.nu/a8yw
  Replies (66) Good night (1347) Bad night (5611)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  pussy has no personality

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Amen to that

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  (609): she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that (484): pussy has no personality (609): Amen to that http://tfl.nu/mkon
  Replies (17) Good night (2937) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting

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  (916): I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting http://tfl.nu/umsk
  Replies (18) Good night (1313) Bad night (3684)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?

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  (443): i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single? http://tfl.nu/navn
  Replies (35) Good night (7028) Bad night (1485)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night

  (1-940): View more from Texas

  I don't have a cat..?

  (940): View more from Texas

  Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.

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  (940): Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night (1-940): I don't have a cat..? (940): Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge. http://tfl.nu/uym0
  Replies (13) Good night (1689) Bad night (5349)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?

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  (502): Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels? http://tfl.nu/vpae
  Replies (12) Good night (1323) Bad night (4054)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.

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  (843): She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that. http://tfl.nu/vu87
  Replies (14) Good night (7248) Bad night (1251)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.

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  (310): When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing. http://tfl.nu/i23j
  Replies (16) Good night (3170) Bad night (1163)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?

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  (360): Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident? http://tfl.nu/46ya
  Replies (16) Good night (3348) Bad night (2177)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.

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  (715): Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank. http://tfl.nu/5t9g
  Replies (1) Good night (1110) Bad night (1902)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.

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  (601): Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though. http://tfl.nu/pqgx
  Replies (20) Good night (3505) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury

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  (301): Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury http://tfl.nu/pv7s
  Replies (3) Good night (653) Bad night (1199)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls

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  (270): Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls http://tfl.nu/fmy4
  Replies (3) Good night (549) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.

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  (713): The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time. http://tfl.nu/2jw5
  Replies (3) Good night (734) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.

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  (860): Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him. http://tfl.nu/v075
  Replies (0) Good night (808) Bad night (308)

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