dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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