you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
