Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
