He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
