If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
