Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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