I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
