Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
