it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
