i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
