On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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