I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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