Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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