She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's blow job season.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
