I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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