I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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