living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
