Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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