I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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