I think my vagina is haunted
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
