the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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