No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize