so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
soo... how was my night?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
