he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
