I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The convent might be a nice break from real life
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
