you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
nutella sex= disaster
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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