did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i think i have two assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
only you would photoshop your dick
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
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