so explain again why im purple
no
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
