This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
