oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
