just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
