I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
nutella sex= disaster
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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