I cockslap morals
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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