if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
