have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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