So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
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he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
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I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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