I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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