i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize