Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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