physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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