If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
