so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So much rum. So many feels.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
