just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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