Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
