I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
