I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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