Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
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think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
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Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
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