Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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