I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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