I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
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I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
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You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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