I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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