My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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