Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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