At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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