i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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